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Part of the Problem

            Since as early as fifth grade, I have embraced the principles of feminism.  I am not entirely sure when I first began applying the term to myself, but it has been long enough that I really feel that it is something that defines who I am.  And since it plays such a large role in defining me as a person, I am very careful about how I define it, for fear of being misrepresented by it.    

            There is no one way to be a feminist and there are as many different types of feminisms as feminists themselves, but there are some basic tenets that bring all those types together.  As a feminist, I have not only struggled with anti-feminists whose concepts of feminism involve hatred of men, bitterness, and jealousy, but with other feminists whose values and ideas are not only different from but I feel are often in direct conflict with the very soul of feminism itself.  Sometimes I feel the term 'feminist' is used so loosely that I am wary about associating myself with it.  I feel that popular American feminism has become a watered-down shadow of its former self, riddled with complacency in regards to the status quo and individualized to the point where it has almost lost its meaning entirely. 

            I am bitter.  I am angry.  No, I'm enraged.  I'm stubborn, unyielding, and opinionated.  None of these things make me a feminist and none of these things explain why I ever became one.  To me, feminism is a synonym for humanity and egalitarianism with a focus on sexual politics.  My feminism is a passion deep inside me that yearns for justice.  It is an anger that never subsides.  Disappointment and disgust with humanity and even myself is always lurking in the crevices of my consciousness.  My feminism inspires my primary psychological need -- my feelings of obligation to stand up for what I believe in and my fundamental desire to be heard.  I believe that myself and feminists like me have been denied this not only by society and popular culture, but by other feminists as well.  Our brand of feminism isn’t quite up to par. 

            I’m not a happy feminist, an ‘every woman is a goddess’ feminist, a ‘beauty of women’s bodies’ feminist, a lesbian feminist, or a misogynist feminist.  I haven’t read Cunt or Bitch and I am usually at odds with other feminists and make the most controversial and objectionable comments in my classes and in debates.  I don’t want to hold hands and sing.  I am sick of talking about Barbie and the glass ceiling.  I want to look deeper.  And I want to act. 

            For years I have felt little but helpless and frustrated when it came to my desire to initiate change in the world.  The obstacles are overwhelming, I’m sure, even to the most optimistic of feminists.  I have felt the weight of carrying the burdens of the suffering and inequities of the world -- what I like to call the ‘Atlas Complex’  -- as I’m sure many others who desire to take part in creating a more amiable and just society do, particularly from the standpoint of racial and economic privilege.  I’ve decided that for now I can at least live the best sort of life I can in hopes of influencing those around me.  I have sacrificed things that I believed myself to have enjoyed, been cautious about how I conduct and present myself, and challenged things that I saw as regressive and unjust.  And for the latter I have suffered very many verbal assaults and overall hostility, a lot of it coming from fellow feminists.

            The first thing they’ll say is ‘that’s not feminist’ or ‘you’re not a real feminist.’  And the only way to answer to those charges is to first ask:  what is feminism?  Merriam Webster defines it as the belief that women should be economically, socially, and politically equal to men.  The majority of feminists agree to that for the most part, but where we mainly differ is in the methods we advocate to effect change and the level of responsibility that women and men have to each other, themselves, and society as a whole. 

I’m not a soft, nice feminist.  I don’t want to coddle women.  While of course considering the many variables that inspire or coerce people into doing what they do, I hold women accountable for their actions and truly believe that they share the responsibility for the status quo as much as their male counterparts.  A good deal of feminists see feminism as an individual accomplishment.  Basically, freeing oneself from certain restraints.  Doing whatever one wishes (so long as one is born or identifies as ‘female’) has been declared an act of feminism.  It seems that they’d consider any woman who doesn’t take direct orders from men to be a feminist.  This is where most feminists and I go our separate ways.  I believe that feminism demands progressiveness in both behavior and advocacy.  I do not support just any decision a woman makes simply because she claims to be a feminist or purely for the reason that she happens to be a woman.  I believe women can make very backwards and sexist choices and that it is entirely reasonable to refuse to consider those choices to be exercises in feminism.  It is similarly reasonable that feminists voice their criticisms of women’s actions just as they would men’s.  These sentiments put me at odds with very many individuals who consider themselves feminists, or think they’ve got a grip on what feminism really is or ought to be. 

            Feminism is a personal lifestyle choice as much as a collective ideology, but it is not at all individualistic – it requires setting an example that not only does not reinforce sexual inequalities, but arguably should be more proactive and subversive to sex roles and the status quo.  If feminism is solely about what the individual thinks is best for her and for not equality and women as a whole, we may as well discard the term.  Feminism is a movement and while it is very much about achieving autonomy and respect for women, it cannot be comprised solely of autonomy and blind approval in order to accomplish anything.  The sort of feminists who subscribe to the severely individualistic view of ‘feminism’ of which I speak more or less refuse to step back from what they call their own choices (or those of others) and free will to seriously examine motivations, social conditioning and consequences.  The notion that they are anything less than a completely unique and individual being, totally impervious to outside influence of any sort, is not something they’re willing to give up without a fight.  This mindset is a problem because through denying our personal responsibility to how inequalities begin and are maintained they are discarding what I feel is the only real way to effect change.  It seems that through their actions, some feminists would like you to believe that sexists are born, not cultured into becoming sexists, and that inequalities exist supernaturally and couldn’t possibly be proliferated by folks like themselves.  Individual women having an effect on the world around them?  Absurd!

            What people – children in particular – see is important to how they view women.  What they hear is important.  What they read is important.  The interactions they take part in and those interactions that they witness all contribute to their understanding of society and the roles and balance of power between the sexes in their society.  It is the cumulative effect of the subtleties of social life (images, language, actions, and even unconscious behaviors) which foster sexual inequality in every facet of society.  Without understanding this basic concept, feminists are denying the most effective route to real change.  Both women and men must learn to consider the potential undesirable consequences of their actions and their impact on the psyches of others as well as their own.

            While there must be, of course, room for variation, there need to be some basic principles and standards which serve as guidelines for feminist thought and behavior.  By the ambiguous definitions that some so-called feminists would hold as the standard, hell, what’s the point of even making the effort to define a concept which applies to every woman from the day she’s born to the day she dies, regardless of what she contributes to society?  People will say ‘I’m doing what I want and I like and that’s all that matters,’ which is a completely valid statement if one is claiming to subscribe, say, to the commonplace American individual idealist sentiment but not to a progressive social movement like feminism.  Feminism has a recognizable goal and a focused objective – freeing women from social, political, and economic oppressions and liberating both women and men, boys and girls, from limiting and oppressive sex roles and standards.  To achieve this goal requires everyone’s cooperation:  individuals, communities, and larger scale groups in what needs to be a lot more than just self-serving and hedonistic behavior.

            ‘Well, all that’s well and good,’ you might say, ‘and you’ve done a great job of banging your head against the wall, but do you have any idea of what one should do to adequately represent and proliferate the feminist cause?’  Yes, I do have some idea.  I don’t claim to know of or even to practice all of the empowering, nongendered, and progressive ways of living and interacting socially, but I do make a serious effort to embrace them to the best of my ability and encourage others to do so as well.  This is possibly the most individualistic aspect of feminism -- the feminist’s prioritization of certain actions or inactions according to her/his own judgment of how necessary the specific thing is for the sake of the movement as a whole.  How important is this to me?  How far am I willing to go for this?  What sacrifices will I need to make?

            Actions, actions, actions.  Where is one to begin?  The prevalence of sexism in ones life and own behaviors, no matter how unintentional it may be, is often quite overwhelming and frustrating.  My suggestion is to start small and remind yourself and others (if necessary) that you are doing your best to transform yourself to serve as a strong influence and role model for others -- to be the sort of person who you can be proud of.  One way that I have been very pleased to do this is to finally, after two years of having freed myself from the burdensome double standards of shaving and makeup, gather the courage to reveal my legs and underarms.  I feared the worst, but have found that whatever awkward social stigmas may rear their ugly heads in reaction to my failure to ‘correctly’ perform my gender are far outweighed by the satisfaction I get from knowing that in a society where prepubescent looks are so prevalent in the women not only portrayed in the media and advertising but among real women in the real world, I serve to remind people that women don’t have to be that way.  Whether I feel that I enjoy shaving or not is something I feel is really of no consequence because, when it comes down to it, I value my potential to influence others over my vanity and comfortable relationship with mainstream society.  So I bare my unaltered legs and armpits with pride. 

The most important action to be taken by feminists or participants in any movement in general, in my opinion, is that of educating others.  Having a strong belief or an opinion is great but in effect worthless unless it is voiced.  Trust me; one can’t influence someone else’s ideology and behavior telepathically.  The first step should be to become aware of and identify how sex and gender play a role in every aspect of ones life and to try to be conscious of when one may be acting in a way which would promote stereotypical gender inequities and roles and attempt to resist such actions.  It is important to hold oneself to ones own standards.  Secondly, the sharing of information and constructive criticism should be used to foster a mental environment in others that is open to more egalitarian ideas and patterns of thinking. 

            Also of great import to me is my active opposition to the more subtle ways of reinforcing sexist ideology – things like backwards language and entertainment.  While, personally, I admit I have difficulties with articulating my opinions in a manner which people for the most part take to positively, I must speak my mind in order to be at peace with myself.  As a feminist I feel I would render myself and my values meaningless were I to neglect my duty to make people think about the messages they send and the norms and ideas that they proliferate.  Though it is impossible to rid ones life completely of any anti-egalitarian influence and it would certainly drive one quite insane to make a serious attempt at it (I know from personal experience), I feel that we, as feminists and egalitarians as a whole, are obligated to confront and respond to what we see in terms of injustices in all aspects of society and social life.

            Many people would like to ignore, or label as inconsequential, the influence of visual, auditory, and textual influences (i.e.:  television, music, movies, any form of communication of ideas that exists).  I wouldn’t be surprised if many of them convinced themselves of this in order to ease their own guilty consciences, since there are definitely things (their favorite bands and television programs, for example, or dependence on pornography) that they would be reluctant to give up.  I have struggled with such decisions as well, but upon consideration have typically concluded that my loyalty to my own politics must take precedence over pleasures.

            Still many feminists go further to claim that participating in activities which play directly into the hands of male privilege and reinforce women’s inferior status are in themselves feminist, simply because women are ‘choosing’ to do them.  One example that has never failed to infuriate me is that of women touting ‘sex work’ as feminist and even ‘empowering’ or ‘liberating,’ because it is (usually) paid and they feel that it is an expression of women’s selves as sexual beings.  My objections to this are simple.  Are we really to measure the worth of a thing by the monetary value assigned to it?  What about its social costs?  What does it mean that it is in the sex industry only where women earn more money than their male counterparts?  What is the consequence of women marketing themselves or being marketed as sexual playthings and products for men?  The second thing that bothers me about this line of thinking is that it seems as if this particular sort of feminism has neglected the influence of factors outside of someone’s innate sexuality (if such a thing exists, which I highly doubt, but let’s save that for another time) and the social and political consequences not only of the industries in and of themselves.  The fact that so many women are defending what others (rightly :) see as the absolute embodiment and epitome of unequal sexual dynamics and power distribution is unnerving to say the least.  Women defend their own commodification with such ferocity and then dare to associate their twisted notions of freedom with a movement towards genuine sexual equality.  I see this phenomenon as an expression of what I hope is a psychological defense (can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em mentality) and not just blatant stupidity and feminism usurped by popular culture and selfishness.  It disgusts me endlessly and I’m genuinely afraid for feminist.

            My point is that feminists should think not just about themselves, but of how they can improve the quality of life and social perception of women on the whole.  I believe that feminism often requires making quite a few personal sacrifices, taking certain social and political risks, and outwardly displaying and vocalizing ones viewpoints, particularly against injustices.  To participate in or advocate counterproductive activities or ideas is to reinforce or worsen the status quo.  It is our job not just as feminists but as human beings to adequately consider and strive towards the greater good.  I don’t expect all feminists to be perfect, but I expect them to think and to do their very best, because I truly believe that if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. 

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